As I was discussing the Starbucks holiday cups with an Australian friend last week, he says to me: You American’s fall for everything. He’s right. And Black Friday is no exception; a false sense of savings that's all to enticing as the holiday season approaches.
Instead of waiting outside a store for two weeks to get a discount on Black Friday maybe you can work those days and afford the whole price #truthbomb
Why I hate Black Friday
1. People suckAnd if you didn't think so before Black Friday, you will walk away as a true believer after. When you watch a grown man shove a woman so he can grab the last toaster, you lose all faith in humanity.
2. Ruining Thanksgiving since 2005Gone are the days of actually enjoying the quality time spent with family on this day of thanks. Black Friday begins earlier and earlier each year. Soon we’ll be starting at Halloween! #Merica
Not only do the people who chose to go shopping suffer, think about the employees (typically new hires) that are forced to leave their families to deal with this mess of a day.
3. I need my beauty rest
I place a higher value on my sleep than saving a buck. No one wants to be around Sourpuss Shane when she gets less than her designated eight hours a night. And no amount of Starbucks can save me from a 4 am wake up call, only to deal with crowds of idiots.
News flash: you’re not really getting that great of a deal. The too-good-to-be-true TV ads, usually are just that. Every year you hear about how fast the big ticket item has sold out. Stores are pro at luring shoppers in on items purposely in low supply. That’s exactly what makes it appealing to us.
4. Doorbusters blow
The prices of in-demand products will be jacked up the week before, so they can “slash” prices leaving the consumer to believe they have won. So unless you plan on camping out for weeks, you are bound to be left out in the cold.
Nothing worse than getting mauled by an angry consumer. I've even seen a grown woman snatch a toy from a child. How pathetic! Not even the parking lots are safe as you see news reports with fender benders and pedestrians getting hit left and right on this crazy day.
5. Shoppers rage can be dangerous
6. Added stressAs if we don't have enough of it over the holidays already, add a day of ruthless shopping to the mix, the day after spending time with our family we only interact with once a year.
7. SecurityThere are crazies out there waiting for unsuspecting shoppers to make a mistake. They know you have money, credit cards, and bags of expensive gifts.
8. Small businesses sufferThe shops that we need to help keep this economy going are destroyed on Black Friday. I urge you to find at least one unique gift from a local company or Etsy shop. I can promise you it will be much more special this way, for the giver, receiver, and the small business owner.
And ensuing buyers remorse is inevitable. You are likely to splurge on items you wouldn't normally, all in the name of "getting a deal," Your bank account will not be happy with you come Monday.
9. Impulse Spending
10. Cyber MondayOnline shopping is the bees knees – Avoid the lines and crowds all together and buy stuff from the comfort of your own home. You’ll also have more time to ponder your purchase to avoid buyers remorse. The best part: No pants, no problems.
My advice for you? Instead of going to an insanely crowded mall at 5am sober, it’s so much better to do so with a little buzz to make fun of the crazies. Bonus: You’ll end up saving $$!
Feel free to start this game promptly at 6pm on Thanksgiving, as we all know that’s when the games begin these days.
Supplies: Some type of seasonal beer or better yet, peppermint schnapps or Fireball Hot Toddys if you’re feeling festive.
Number of Players: In the spirit of the holidays, the more the merrier!
Objective: Drink so much you forget all the calories you ate today.
Black(out) Friday Drinking Game
Take a shot every time:
1. You enter a store
2. You catch a shopper with a red Starbucks cup attempting to caffeinate
3. You see a man begrudgingly carrying his S/O’s purse
Shotgun a beer every time:
1. Two women fight over the last item on a shelf.
2. You spot a screaming child left alone in a cart.
3. And another when the parents return and scream back at the kid like it’s their fault they are terrible parents
4. You overhear someone in line bragging about how early they woke up this morning.
5. You witness a brawl in the parking lot.
Chug an entire bottle of wine every time:
1. Your mother-in-law calls you to come home and join the family
Game Over: You’re too sloshed to be seen shopping anymore, so head back to your family. Or on Cyber Monday, whichever comes last.
Keep some love in your heart, folks. It’ll remain long after the sales have ended.