That's life.
A phrase I simply won't settle for.
I'm finally ready and willing to rise up above the sadness and worry.
I'm living for more than that.
I'm living for more than that.
And here I am, at 20 years of age, blessed to realize that my life has just begun. I refuse to let my father and his shortcomings stop me from enjoying my life. It's not his to ruin.
Over the course of a couple years, yes, I have felt at times like the world was caving in over top of me.
Not anymore. I am content with my life. I have an incredible college, family, and a promising future, what more could I ask for?
There is power in forgiveness.
Over the course of a couple years, yes, I have felt at times like the world was caving in over top of me.
Not anymore. I am content with my life. I have an incredible college, family, and a promising future, what more could I ask for?
There is power in forgiveness.
You may feel justified in hating someone who has deeply hurt you. This can consume you through either inner bitterness or outward aggression since hatred and anger eat away at the heart and soul.
Don't give away this power to another to dictate how you feel.
Don't give away this power to another to dictate how you feel.
By forgiving you, I am releasing me, not you.
You must live with yourself everyday.
You must live with the darkness in your heart.
But I do not, and will not.
You don't need a person's cooperation to forgive. Heck they don't even have to know, don't need to be sorry, and don't need to admit the error of their ways. Forgiveness is in the personal satisfaction and inner peace of yourself, not theirs. Take your power back from those who have hurt you.
Dad, if you ever read this, I'm sorry you missed out.
I'd like to think that I've become a person worth getting to know, and it's a shame that you'll never get that chance. We all make mistakes, we're all human, and I get that. I know you're fully aware of your faults, but the scars you have left will never be erased.
Indeed, my life is the way that it is because of you. You made me, and you raised me. Your mistakes taught me to embrace change and to strive for greatness, not perfection. Your insufficiencies taught me about my own, and your choices taught me to never marry a man like you.
I want to give up but something inside of me won't let me.
For the first 15 years of my life you were invincible to me. No more.
I miss you, but I'm doing just fine without you.
I'd like to think that I've become a person worth getting to know, and it's a shame that you'll never get that chance. We all make mistakes, we're all human, and I get that. I know you're fully aware of your faults, but the scars you have left will never be erased.
Indeed, my life is the way that it is because of you. You made me, and you raised me. Your mistakes taught me to embrace change and to strive for greatness, not perfection. Your insufficiencies taught me about my own, and your choices taught me to never marry a man like you.
I want to give up but something inside of me won't let me.
For the first 15 years of my life you were invincible to me. No more.
I miss you, but I'm doing just fine without you.
My life is good.
15 comments:
<3 i don't even know you, but you are such a strong girl. your father not being in your life made you the person you are, and i'm sure it's taught you so much about yourself and life in general. i was blessed enough to have a wonderful father, but i too was deprived of his presence, from different circumstances. both are hard, in completely different ways. both experiences made us stronger, whether we like it or not <3
xo,
jessie
I continue to be impressed by your poise, spirit, and strength and this post just confirmed that. YOU ARE AWESOME and I can't wait to keep learning more about you :)
Hi Shane! Congratulations to you as well for the internship! :)
This is a very powerful message!
"You must live with yourself everyday.
You must live with the darkness in your heart.
But I do not, and will not."
I love that. Sometimes it's so difficult to let go of that pain and anger. It's easy to hold all of that inside, it takes real strength to overcome that and choose life without it!
You are so strong to be able to go through this and come out the lovely person you are today!
This is a very powerful post. I had a similar scenario with my mother (although I was much younger when she left, so maybe less affected), and forgiveness, as you say, is truly liberating and needs to be done if you're going to get on with enjoying your life.
Well done miss! x Fiona
Even though we have never met in person, I feel your strength and sole in this post! Thank you for being so raw and putting yourself out there. Hopefully this will help others find peace and strength. Stay true to yourself and continue to surround yourself with the positive and with those who love you unconditionally!
xo,
Shanna
Very inspirational post especially to someone who grew up not knowing her biological father. Lucky for me, my mother met someone whom I grew up calling Dad. Everything happens for a reason & you are better off without him! :)
New follower from http://justplainjade.blogspot.com
You are seriously so inspiring and such a great example. I was in awe at your choice of words--because you definitely have a way with them. This is one of the blogs that I have just recently been able to relate with..and there aren't many of those.
Thank you.
♥ xoxo.
http://weandserendipity.blogspot.com
You are seriously so inspiring and such a great example. I was in awe at your choice of words--because you definitely have a way with them. This is one of the blogs that I have just recently been able to relate with..and there aren't many of those.
Thank you.
♥ xoxo.
http://weandserendipity.blogspot.com
There is tremendous power in forgiveness, to be sure... though as many fail to realize, it is a choice - not a feeling or emotion. I'm so sorry your father has hurt you, but so glad you have chosen to rise above it - your choice to forgive shows wisdom and grace. :)
My husband lost his father to cancer just a couple years ago, and I lost my second father. That's a little different than what you're talking about, but either way you lose a father. My husband and I are followers of Christ, and both have found great comfort in the verse: "[He is] a father to the fatherless..." (Psalm 68:5) I know it doesn't change events or the way things are here on earth, but it's such an amazing truth to grasp and a tremendous comfort knowing that even if/when we're truly orphaned, we are never without a Father. ♥
wow!! this is very touching & shows just how strong you truly are!! You have a promising future and lots to look forward too!!
Such powerful words. Based on what you have said, you are right. You sound like a person worth knowing and he is missing out.
shane, your new header is AWESOME!!! love it!!!
I too had a fatherless fathers day, and what you've said about forgiveness is so, so true. At the end of the day, the only person who really gets hurt when you hold onto such bitter feelings is you - at least thats my experience! Your blog is awesome, I'm taking that to mean that you are just as awesome + that it's definitely his loss. x
shane, this is the heart of the matter, the beauty in truth. your words sum up so much of what people feel, but may not know how to express, nor say. that is part of your gift that you discovered or was in you all along. maybe he was too wrapped up in his own whatever to really see, know, or appreciate what was in front of him. what he could be within his reach, if he sought it, & still could be, if only. you know your value & your worth. that is priceless.
Very powerful and moving words <3
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