Happy Relationship Secrets

Have you ever wondered what the secret is to a good relationship?  I have always felt that relationships were the most important thing in life.  It seems that everyone wants to have good relationships but most don’t know how to make them work.

The secret is kindness.  We don’t always feel like being kind.  There are so many frustrations in life and things that make us angry that the kindness we want to show usually doesn’t happen.

I know for myself, in my relationship with my husband, I am short tempered most of the time.  If he says something to me I often respond in a short or negative way.  I let little things bother me a lot.  Everything seems to end up in a disagreement, even the smallest thing.  It is like no matter what, he is bothering me because I am always focusing on something else that I think is more important at the time.

It is very difficult to be kind when I am always angry that something didn’t get done the way I wanted it to, etc. It actually takes great effort to be kind.  So if a relationship means a lot to you, you’d better put out that effort or you will not have that person in your life anymore.

When someone tries to relate something to you and you are always irritated they just gradually stop relating to you.  I know this is the way I feel with the people I come in contact with.  And so finally we become a hermit, because people irritate us so much.  It seems much easier to be alone~~but is it?  In some ways it is easier but in some ways, it is harder.  You have to decide.    What I have found is that relationships with other people make me see myself better and thus realize how I have to change.

It is so easy to see another’s faults and so hard to see our own.  I am constantly criticizing others and seeing their weaknesses.   I have learned that what we see in others is a reflection of what we are.  This is a very hard pill to swallow.  I do not want to accept this as true and yet I can see these faults in myself better as I have learned to be more introspective through my meditation practice which I was taught by my life’s guide & teacher.

Some might think that it isn’t good to see the negative aspects of ourselves more clearly, but in actuality, the self-introspection and exploring personal responsibility is the way to start to change and become more loving and kind.

If I become aware of my own faults I can start to see the effect it has on the others around me then I can make some real progress. I can start to alter those reactions~~ take a moment and be more kind.  So it all starts with the awareness that this is something important to do.    I just wish I would have started sooner.  I am just lucky, I guess, that my husband is one of the most tolerant people I have met in my life.

Everything worthwhile in this world takes effort to achieve.  If we want it badly enough we will put out that effort.  The meditation practice that I am speaking of is a very ancient and simple activity that you can add to your life without too much difficulty.  You don’t have to change the way you dress, your occupation, move house or anything major.  You don’t have to join a group, church or even go anywhere.  It can be practiced in your own home, alone or with your family.

I want to be more loving, humble and kind.  I want to point out the good things about others, not the bad.  I think if everyone tried their hardest to do this we would live in a much different world.  Great teachers, down through the ages, have all taught these simple truths but most of the time we are too angry and covered by our own self-importance to see what we need to do to change and come to this level.  But if we can sincerely try to be introspective and see ourselves more clearly and at the same time have empathy for others, walk a mile in their moccasins, we can know our duty and benefit ourselves and at the same do others a big favor.